To Love Fiercely

The matriarch of a cattle ranch passed away last year and I sat at the funeral and heard her family speak about her. The comment that stood out to me was when her granddaughter in law spoke of how fiercely she had loved her husband and taught this young woman to do the same.

We should all be so lucky as to be loved fiercely.

When we were filming Droughtland, we were hoping, to illustrate the emotional toll, one of the farm and ranch wives would show emotion when speaking¬†about the drought and it’s affect on their family operations. I told Steffan it was unlikely here in hard, dry country to see tears fall. I could feel the stress and sadness as a number of people, men and women alike, spoke to us about life in the drought. The common thread that I clung to was the ferocity of love for family.

We love our children fiercely but I want to love my lover fiercely as well. Continue reading

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Of Generosity and abundance

Generosity matters more than most things.

I sat at a restaurant with the man who loves me Wednesday night and I heard myself ask him whether it was ok if I ordered the steak. He looked at me and smiled, pulled me close and told me that of course it was fine. The confusion and hurt in his eyes made the moment stick in my mind for later consideration.

Days later I was replaying the moment in my mind and I realized two things that had absolutely nothing to do with a $14 dinner.

While asking whether it was acceptable to order a steak rather than something cheaper is what came out of my mouth, the question I was really asking was different. Am I valuable enough? Am I worth enough to you?

There are lies we have come to believe for a number of inexcusable reasons, the most damaging is having heard the lies in our own voices. Of course you are worthy, my dear friend. Continue reading